I'm Back

Well I have had a rough week. This week life through me some challenges that i had to think long and hard about. I had to take a deap breathe and step out of the situation to find direction to resolve this problem. Today the man I am can figure out how to handle life when life shows up. I did not talk to those I was upset with for about two days. I hurt some people around me by not talking, but I think that I would have hurt them a lot worse if I were to show up mad while I tried to explain myself. This was hard for me because I saw the one I love cry, it kills me inside to see her cry. Never have I felt that way before in my life. I remeber in other relationships I have had I would kinda almost like to see them cry because it made me feel more impowered. Geez what a horrible way to be. That is me in my disease a person who cannot feel nor wants to know what feelings feel like. I am glad that things that are really hard to deal with and things that are really great in my life showed up in a time where I am a stronger man. Amazing how life works send me the worst and best things in life, cause today i can handle both, I know how to deal with the bad and greet the best. Awesome. My life is free and I am feeling better. I'm getting married on Feb 20th, 2010 and I am marrying a woman that I Knew that I would marry from the first movie we watched. I remember feeling like wow honestly i wanted to leave anywhere i was just to go see her. That is very odd for me I am not a one woman man, and today i can only see myself with one. Funny thing is i used to hide behind my feelings and never say what I want, this time i did express my feelings and life in two days got better then it has been in the last two years. Anyways this is a very random and not put together well blog. BUT its my blog so bite me. LOL Love you all have a great night. Jonny B